Special Hijab tutorial: Hides everything! Most modest for brothers!

I am a man and I totally I agree with this. I have heard so many brothers moaning about the sisters hijab/lack of hijab/lax hijab etc they never moan about domestic violence, misogyny, oppression, sexual violence, harrassment or the blantant disregard for womens rights in their midst. These are the munafiqeen of today.

To The Point: Shaming Women Into (and out of) Hijab

Comment: I know a few sisters who have recently taken off the hijab and I don't think I have any right to comment on it at all (let me make that clear). It is between them and their God, however one does wonder what they went through to have made that decision. I thought this sister made some good points. Overall I really believe we need to support each other in strenghthening our faith and just stop the judging and finger pointing pls!

It’s quite ironic that the headscarf that so many Muslim women wear in hopes of not being reduced to their looks leads to just that –being reduced to what they wear, how they wear it, what color, camel bump or not, flashy or not, Abaya or not.

It’s frustrating enough that Muslim women have to deal with policing by non-Muslims regarding whether or not they should wear hijab and how an integration into Western society should be characterized by stripping yourself (quite literally) from your own cultural and religious identity. But that’s not the topic of my column today. I take issue with the policing within the Muslim community: The shaming, the discouraging, the backbiting and the incessant judging. A woman’s piety seems to be dependent on whether or not she wears hijab. And that kind of binary thinking is problematic because it disregards any nuance that exists between the two extremes of “pious, perfect Muhajaba” and “gone astray Non-Muhajaba.”

Firstly, wearing hijab is an extremely personal choice and taking that step requires a lot of strength, courage, and patience. Piety is not the only determining factor. For example, a very pious woman could have a very unsupportive family or a job she can’t lose and hence not be able to wear the hijab, while a less pious woman could be from the sort of familial background that had her wear the hijab from a very young age. I should not have to give these kinds of examples, it’s a given that as Muslims, we have to give others the benefit of the doubt. This is a phenomenon that happens to women everywhere – the fact that others think they have a right to police how the woman carries herself. We don’t experience the same kind “concern” in other, more pressing fields of personal spirituality; for example, no one goes around asking men whether or not they have paid Zakat and I have yet to see someone get as upset over a missed prayer as they do over an exposed ankle or a strand of hair peaking through a scarf.

Secondly, the kind of scrutiny Muslim women face in their communities when it comes to hijab creates a very discouraging and hostile environment. Suddenly, her piety is reduced to how tight her pants are, her level of Taqwa measured by the length of her shirt, and also, “Sister, if you’re going to wear nail polish, you might as well not wear hijab at all!” Many don’t start wearing hijab because they don’t want to be judged by their own community while many others have taken the hijab off because they felt that the scrutiny they faced made them focus on the opinions of others more than pleasing their Creator. Every small (or grave) mistake is amplified disproportionately and made out to be a reason why a woman should not wear hijab anymore. The logic behind, “If you’re going to have a boyfriend, you shouldn’t wear hijab” doesn’t work anymore than the logic behind, “If you’re going to lie, you shouldn’t pray Salaah.” We all sin and being sinners doesn’t somehow magically excuse or disqualify us from following God’s commandments. And even if it did, it wouldn’t be up to a stranger in the community who likely barely even knows us to proclaim the ways in which we are “allowed” to follow God’s commands. Wearing hijab is not a trophy you get once you have accomplished “perfect Imaan status”; it much rather is a single step in a long journey towards that common goal we all have.

Long story short, stop using a woman’s appearance to determine what is in her heart and stop policing the way she carries herself. I, for one, know that there are plenty of women who don’t wear hijab who are much better Muslims than I, a Muhajaba, am. And policing and shaming women into covering in a way that you think is right is incredibly counterproductive and dishonest.

Source

Muslim woman committed suicide after "lifestyle attacked on Facebook"

If your immediate response to this is "suicide is haraam" then you've missed the underlying issues in todays Ummah, we are far to condemning and judgemental of each other, Allah please grant us compassion truly He is not merciful to those who shown no mercy to each other. 

Rema Begum, 29, had been targeted by an anonymous stalker who sent both her and her family hate mail, exposing her relationships with non-Muslim men to her strictly religious parents.

She felt racked with guilt and believed she was leading an impure lifestyle, a close friend disclosed. She had also lost her job as a manager at the British Library and her health had gradually begun to deteriorate to the point at which she struggled to leave the house.

On September 4, Miss Begum had a glass of wine on the terrace of Sir Terence Conran's exclusive Coq D'Argent restaurant near the Bank of England before “calmly” jumping 80ft to her death.

Police found antidepressants and a note containing contact details for her next of kin in the handbag she left on the ledge.

Avril Atkins, who had known her since university, told the inquest that she had been having “some problems” with Facebook.

“Somebody – she didn't know who – had been sending letters to her parents about her lifestyle and relationships,” she said.

“She was getting quite a lot of hate mail – both she and her parents.”

Miss Atkins said that although her friend had followed some Muslim practices and had religious beliefs, she lived a “western lifestyle” and had non-Muslim boyfriends.

“I don't think it was something she openly told (her parents) about, however I believe they found out she had been seeing someone who wasn't Muslim,” she said.

“She did say to me that she hadn't been living a good Muslim life. She said she wanted to live a more Muslim-based life.”

Miss Begum reported the online abuse to the police before deleting her Facebook account and replacing it with one using a different name, the inquest heard.

After losing her job, she left her rented flat in Islington to move back in with her parents in Manor Park, East London.

But the once “happy and bubbly” young woman became increasingly depressed and had sought medical help.

The day before her death she had tried to hang herself at the family home but was taken to hospital by her parents. She was discharged after refusing treatment and promising never to try harming herself again.

Dr Sara Dimic, a psychiatrist who had seen her two months earlier, confirmed she had been suffering with depression but was "guarded" and feared about the confidentiality of the appointment.

She told City of London Coroner's Court: "She revealed to me that she had been feeling guilty for not leading her life according to her family's values and her religion.

"She thought that she had led a life that she was being punished for.

"Her depression was the response to her being pushed from her current job and her moral dilemma in terms of the way she lived her life."

Coroner Paul Matthews heard that a series of suicide notes were found at her home, some dating back four months.

He said there was “no doubt” that she was suffering from depression.

“It appeared to be reactive to the stresses she was subject to in her life,” he said, recording a verdict of suicide.

Three people have died jumping from the Coq D'Argent terrace.

Stockbroker Anjool Malde, 24, jumped clutching a glass of champagne in 2009 after being suspended from his job at Deutsche Bank and Richard Ford, 33, also a City worker, threw himself off the building in May 2007.

Council inspectors ruled that the barriers at the rooftop bar complied with health and safety laws.

source

Sins...

Judging others...

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace and salutations be upon him) said, “ Should you become eager to mention another’s faults, recall your own. “ (Ar-Rafi)

Islamic Response to Insults of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

Haram police and Cyber bullying

I really appreciated this comment from Egyptian Princess

This little doodle I made is intended to illustrate something that’s caught my attention lately. I can’t help but notice all the hate within the Tumblr Ummah, especially for Hijabis. Heck, I didn’t even know the word ”Hoejabi” before I started Tumblr. I can’t believe how negative people here are. 
     It seems like most Muslimahs on this site are magnets for Haram Police. (Thankfully, no one has said anything to me yet, but I figure it’s just a matter of time.) It’s astonishing, really, to see people say these things. ”You use bad language”, ”Your posts are un-Islamic”, and for people that post pictures of themselves, ”Your clothes are too tight”, or ”You wear makeup” or ”You do your eyebrows”, all the way up to ”You’re a slut”, there seems to be no shortage of things these people find to nitpick. The most annoying part is that this rarely happens in real life, but people find safety to say things like this behind their screens, on anon. 
     My qestion to the Haram Police is: Who made you an authority? You’re not a mufti/shaykh/’alim/mullah/imam, you’re just some kid with a computer. Nobody gave you the power to evaluate someone’s Muslim-ness. You don’t know what’s in a person’s heart, and therefore, you have no right to pass judgement. If your intention is to help your fellow Muslims, them by all means, do so. But please do so in a manner that is respectful and uncondescending, because as of now, all you’re doing is bullying. 

There’s enough people in the world that hate us, and we’re not making it any better by hating each other.