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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

10 Bollywood Movies That Should’ve Never Been Made

Have you ever felt like ripping your hair out strand by strand while watching a Bollywood film?


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We list down the top 10 must not watch movies that made us go facepalm:

Love Story 2050: Priyanka Chopra’s outrageous red hair, Harman Baweja’s cheap imitation of Hrithik Roshan and a dry script contributed to the failure of Love Story 2050. The movie wa/s a lengthy two hour promotion for various products like Xbox 360, Tata Indicom, Panasonic, Lux and others. After an hour into the film, we pretty much wanted to shoot ourselves in the head.

Veer: A Katrina Kaif lookalike, a shallow script written by Salman and his failure to resemble a warrior are the few reasons that spoilt the movie. The movie is alarmingly slow with frequent slow motion effects which slowly slowly tortured us to death.

Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag: Calling the cult classic ‘Sholay’ an inspiration and then renaming the movie with the director’s name was the first hint that the movie was headed for disaster! Also Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag sounds suspiciously like a UTI. RGV Ki Aag was completely antithetical to the Bollywood blockbuster ‘Sholay’.  With dialogues like “Tum two (too) much nahi, three much ho”, the scriptwriters should have been exiled.

Karzzz: Himesh Reshamiya should be awarded for his endless acting attempts in movies like Aap Ka Suroor, Karzzz, Radio, Damadam and many others. If we were given the choice, Himesh’s movies would constitute 90 percent of this article. Subhash Ghai’s 1980 cult classic Karzzz starring Rishi Kapoor and Simi Garewal was mercilessly slaughtered by Himesh’s over the top acting and horrid gimmicks.

Girlfriend: An attention grabbing title and eye popping skin show lured the audience to the theatre only to experience its sexually explicit scenes, lack of a plot and performances. The movie provoked public poster burning in Orissa and serious action was taken to ban the movie. How we wish we were in Orissa!

Drona: Drona reinvented the age old Good vs Bad formula. We are introduced to Abhishek Bachchan who portrays the role of a superhero-Drona. What sort of a superhero wears a white outfit? I mean the logistics of it all baffled our mind; that coupled with some spectacularly horrid acting. We are also told that Drona is the ‘chosen one’. After watching the movie, we realize he was the ‘chosen one’ to bore us throughout the movie.

Chandni Chowk to China: Chandni Chowk to China was an amalgamation of Kung fu movie clichés, a vague plot, lame dialogues and cheesy SFX. Most critics slammed the movie by saying that the script was probably written at the last minute. And, we completely agree! We wonder what made Akshay Kumar and Deepika participate in this blasphemy? Were they bribed with free Chinese food?

Money Hai Toh Honey Hai: Watch the movie only if you have lots of money to spend on the ticket and a honey to make love to in a theatre. A multi starrer cast that is supposed to entertain the audience with its humor ends up making you seriously consider a lobotomy.

Himmatwala: Sajid Khan tried to recreate the 80’s magic of Jeetendra starrer Himmatwala, but failed and how! In fact the film will now be turned in to a full time degree course called – What not to do even when you are in film school.

What’s your Rashee: Unless you love Priyanka Chopra so much that you would be prepared to shave your head and tattoo her name on your skull, do not watch this movie. This film is 213 minutes of unbearable torture. Oh, did we mention it stars Harman Baweja?

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